I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
