I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
