Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
