omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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