you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
