After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
4 words: hood of his car
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
