Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
