jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
