My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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