My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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