I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
