careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
