I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
