watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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