Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Come see our sink grown plant.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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