"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
