if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
