I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Randomize
