i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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