girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
