Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
