How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
honey bunches of taint.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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