Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
