i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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