I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
