I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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