so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
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