I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
