Nicole vs. Life
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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