i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Randomize
