I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
