im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
