she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
