And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
