YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
