i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
These tits shall not be calmed
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
