he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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