$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
