OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
