I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
