at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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