i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
