If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
