where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
His nipple licking is glorious
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