So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
