ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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