ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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