11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Randomize
