so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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