Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
