Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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