question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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