Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
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